Dad, Look At That

I have a story to tell. Yesterday, I went to a local convenience store to pick up a few things. Almost immediately after I walked in, I found myself face-to-face with a boy who had to be 10-12 years old. His eyes widened. I knew in that instant that he had never seen a little person before. He then says, “Daddy, turn around. Look at THAT.” 

Now, I have been referred to as “that” before, but those who have done so were no more than five years old. I expect them not to understand. I have never been referred to as “that” by a kid who is certainly old enough to understand that you cannot refer to another human being, regardless of how they look, as an object. 

I was speechless. I’m used to hearing murmured choruses of “Look at her.” I’m used to kids pointing and staring. I’m used to hearing kids ask their parents “Why is she so little? Is she a grown up?” as they try to comprehend how someone their height is clearly not acting their age. It’s an unavoidable reality that, because I'm a little person, kids and adults alike will look at me with shock, confusion, and amusement. In those situations I usually smile, wave, say “Hi” in the friendliest voice that I can, and make eye contact with their parents as I watch their reaction. Most often, parents will tell their children not to stare, to say “Hi” back, and agree that I am different. They rarely, if ever, refer to me as a dwarf or little person, and maybe that’s because they don’t know the proper term, but they often (wish I could state always) treat me with the respect one human being should bestow upon another. 

I didn’t wait to see how his father responded. I didn’t hear what explanation was given, if one was given at all. I’m not even sure his father even saw me. What I should have done was stand there, wait for his dad to notice me, and say, “Actually, I’m a person and if you have any questions about my height I would be more than happy to answer.” What I did was turn and disappear into the aisles of the store and that was my mistake. I was too stunned and disappointed to see if the father would correct his son or echo his description of me.

I want to make it clear that I don’t think the kid was trying to be mean. I truly believe that he had never seen a little person before. He did not comprehend that someone his size, or maybe even a little shorter, was walking around without adult supervision, wallet and keys in hand, behaving like an adult rather than a child.

Parents, please teach your children that not everyone looks the same, that you have to treat another human being with respect and decency, and not as an object of ridicule. If you choose to ignore it, then you are perpetuating the stigma that those who are disabled, those who are different, are less than a human being, that they are an “it” rather than a “who”. Imagine if roles were reversed, if I pointed and stared and said “Look at THAT” just because you are taller than me...

You wouldn’t like it, would you?