Lessons Learned in 2020
Wow, 2020 has been quite a year, that’s for sure. When trying to write my final post for 2020, I’ll admit I got stuck. A LOT happened. Speaking for myself, I launched Always Looking Up, postponed moving to NYC, and have had to teach myself new skills in order to work from home. My family and I had to say some of our hardest goodbyes while, at the same time, were blessed to welcome our newest cousin to the world.
So, when deciding how best to sum up 2020, I decided to list 20 things I learned in 2020, from silly to serious and everything in between.
Are you ready? Here we go.
It’s okay to make yourself a priority.
Never, ever underestimate the healing and relaxing powers of a long walk, an intriguing documentary, an enthralling book, a glass of wine or a classic Disney movie.
Don’t start a thriller before bed. This year I read 81 books (I know this because I’m in a book group and was determined to beat my record from last year). Reading has always been an escape for me, especially during a year when there is nowhere to go. I’m drawn to thrillers of all kinds- international spy, FBI/police, domestic...if it’s a thriller I’ll give it a chance. Authors J.T. Ellison, Daniel Silva, Allison Brennan, Catherine Coulter and Danielle Girard, just to name a few, kept me up late at night as I started their books before bed and realized I would not and could not sleep soundly until I finished.
A podcast is much more than something to listen to. I’ve talked about the podcast Diet Starts Tomorrow numerous times on this blog (Click HERE). I started listening to them on a weekly basis back in January and, as I settled into quarantine back in March, binged on past episodes as I rode my bike. Following Sami and Aleen on their respective health and wellness journeys, joining the incredible DST community, has helped me in so many ways. I’ve found new, inspiring influencers to follow (@alexisbarber, @thebirdspapaya, @freckledfoodie, @helenvphelan and so many more) and workouts to try. Sami, Aleen and the DST’ers have empowered me to be more open about my struggles with my weight and body image and to celebrate what I can do with my body rather than what it looks like.
Listen to your body when it demands that you sleep in. At the start of 2020 I would be getting up between 3:30 and 4:00 am to give myself enough time to go to the gym before having to get ready for work. Now, with my commute shortened from over an hour to less than a minute, I’ve slowly re-learned to sleep in later and later, giving my body the rest it needs.
Know your worth. Stop settling for what you think you deserve. This is something I am still learning.
Send that cold email or DM- you have nothing to lose. I said before that my friendship with designer Lucy Jones started because I sent her an incredibly long, passionate email. That email led to a series of DMs that led to a delicious dinner in Chelsea and sparked the beginning of a beautiful friendship. One email, one text message, one phone call, one DM can start a conversation, spark a friendship, and potentially change the world.
*Click HERE to read Part I of my conversation with Lucy regarding FFORA.
**Click HERE to read Part II of my conversation with Lucy regarding the future of adaptive fashion.
The “Send Later” option for emails is one of the greatest anxiety relievers.
It is never too late to pursue your passion. For me, it was launching Always Looking Up. I love writing from the heart, creating (hopefully) fun and interesting content, and sharing my voice and the voices of others I feel deserve to be heard.
A walk is always, always, always a good idea. One influencer Sami, Aleen and DST introduced me to was Jordan Syatt (@syattfitness). After binging his three episodes I immediately followed him on all socials. One thing he always stresses is how beneficial walking is physically, mentally and emotionally. I always knew this but never really practiced what he preached. This year, when I found myself stressed and needing to breathe, I walked. There was no set destination, no mileage goal, just one foot in front of the other. I would find answers on these walks and, more importantly, I would find peace.
Being a little person doesn’t mean you can’t run great distances. For a long, long time I’ve always hated running. I could Zumba for five hours straight with no difficulty yet struggled with running for five minutes. I didn’t like the direct impact on my shins with every step and had resigned myself to the fact that I would never be a runner, and that was okay. Enter Peloton. Like most people in 2020, when all the gyms closed I signed up for a Peloton membership. They have outdoor workouts and I would incorporate their power and fun walks into my workout regimen. Then, one day, I decided to try one of their walk+runs just to see if I could do it. It was twenty minutes and the longest run interval was only a minute long and I remember crying tears of happiness and disbelief when it was over. I could no longer say “I can’t run”. Now, I run because it feels good. I love the thrill of running faster and farther. I love the feeling of flight and freedom I get with every stride.
You are more than a number on a scale or a size on a label. For a long time, I would exercise with a specific number in mind. At first that number was a goal weight or size. Then, it became about how much can I lift, what new PR could I set. I used to work out because those numbers established my self worth. I thought I was worth more as a person if I was stronger or skinnier. Not anymore. Now, exercise is a way for me to feel powerful, to release pent up anger and frustration, to celebrate my body for being able to move. Are there days when I feel like I am still trapped in diet culture? Absolutely. But, those days are fewer and far between.
It’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s okay to break down and cry, yell, scream. It’s okay to not be okay. More importantly, I learned to stop punishing myself when I need to have these moments of vulnerability, of anxiety.
Stop being afraid to use your voice. Taylor Swift said it best, “Next time there is any opportunity to change anything, you had better know what you stand for and what you want to say.”
If you want to be heard, you need to take the time to really listen. We all look at the world a little differently and every voice, every opinion matters. You can’t complain that you are being unseen and unheard if you are choosing to remain ignorant.
You are capable of teaching yourself new things. Treat each failure as a learning opportunity and grow from it. Whether for work or pleasure, you should never stop learning once you graduate.
Never apologize for needing to turn everything off and take a break. Unplug and unwind now. Your mind and body will thank you for it later.
Keep your appointments with your therapist, even if you think you have nothing to talk about.
Stop being afraid to ask for help because you feel you don’t deserve it.
Never forget to check in with yourself, your friends and your family. This year we couldn’t surround ourselves with friends and family like we used to, that doesn’t mean they were never there. Life can change in an instant and, unfortunately, you never know which conversation will be your last. Make each phone call count, answer every text, and always, always, always say good night, goodbye, and I love you.
I wish you all a happy and healthy new year and I will see you in 2021!
