Through My Mother's Eyes

I’m putting this in writing, on the internet, so she’ll know it’s true...my mom is my best friend. I would not be where I am, writing this blog without her constant love, guidance and support. We’ve had our fair share of ups and downs- she yells, I hold my tongue and wait for her to apologize, then tell her she was right. She has been there through every struggle and triumph in life and in fashion so I thought it would be fitting to interview her.

When did you know I was going to be a little person? What was your initial reaction? 

On your birthday. We went to have you turned since you were breached, feet first. The doctors use ultrasound to help reposition you- they kept repeating taking your measurements. Finally the doctor told us he thought it was a less than 20% chance you have a dysplasia. The measurements were more likely a factor of how you were positioned. Daddy and I were both scared because we had no idea what any of it meant. What would be your future? We didn’t know how it would affect you physically, mentally and emotionally. Would you need surgery, would you have a mental disability, how would it be to be you. We didn’t even know if you were a boy or a girl yet.

Was I the first little person you met? 

Daddy was hired by Alvin Shpeen (a little person, former Gloucester County Prosecutor and Mayor of Glassboro). You were the first I knew personally. I had seen little people but couldn’t honestly tell you when or how many. You definitely were the first I held in my arms!

How did your concept of becoming a parent change after diagnosis? 

I was overwhelmed. I wasn’t confident I could be a good parent before I even got pregnant. Now I thought you would need me to step up in so many still unknown ways at the time that I thought I failed you before I even gave birth to you.

Were you scared?

Yes because I wanted a healthy baby and I didn’t know how dwarfism would affect your health. I also worried about my lack of skills to be the best mom you needed me to be. 

What adaptations did you have to make? 

We really didn’t make too many adaptations for you. Stools everywhere. Dowels for your light switches. Closet organizers and adjustable shower head. The best idea we had was turning your sink and the powder room sink sideways. Genius!

Do you think you parent Ben and I differently because I'm an LP? (little person, average-sized people are APs)

I really don’t think we parented you two differently. We were not helicopter parents and luckily you guys were pretty good. I think in general girls are more needy so I fear Ben  may have felt that we focused on you but I think it’s just girl stuff.

How would you describe shopping for me when I was a child? 

Shopping was at times “challenging” when you were younger. Found out Nordstrom would be our life saver. When you were very young I was clueless as to now I needed to adapt the clothes but you were so pretty it became more fun to dress my little girl.

Where did you take me to get alterations? How did you find her?

Marie’s Sewing Nook was a true Godsend.  I am not sure who told me about her. She did the alterations for a lot of Glassboro cops but I truly can’t remember how I found her.

As a child, what was the hardest clothing item for me to find?

Tights!!!! Impossible to alter🤨

Were there times when you wish I wasn't a little person (because it would make life easier)?

Easier for me or for you? Yes I did and sometimes still do. Simple things like renting ice skates or ordering ballet shoes. Or watching you shoot baskets with Daddy. Then you world amaze us with your skills and your desire to do what you want no matter what. 

You get upset when the subway is too crowded and I get upset for you. Then you maneuver your way around like a true native

How has shopping with me changed over the years?

I know not to go shopping with you!!! You do a great job figuring out what and how clothes can be altered. You have your own sense of style, very fashionable and it’s so much fun watching you put it all together.

Any memorable shopping experiences (successes and failures)?

You are the Norm of the shoe department at Nordstrom. I loved how the sales people would just bring out every show in your size regardless of what you were looking for. You were famous! Failures were not your failures but the industry’s failures. 

What are your frustrations with the fashion industry in regards to accessible fashion?

Shoes!!! Boots!!! Skinny jeans!!! There is a huge market but the industry is stuck on sizes 2-22 petite regular and tall. I understand that it’s harder to market when it’s difficult to make standard sizes but there has to be a way! 

What has being an average-sized parent of a little person taught you?

It’s been a fantastic journey. To watch your determination to make life fit your size, to make the world yours is very exciting as parent. I am proud and in awe of your grit. When you get upset you regroup and you are back at it again! I wish I had your tenacity. I wish I had your vision. I wish you success and happiness. You not only deserve it but you’ve earned It

If you could give advice to yourself 25 years ago, what would you say?

I would tell myself to relax.   You’ve got this Jillian. Sometimes I worried myself more than stopping to enjoy the moment. It’s not because you’rea little person it’s because I am a neurotic mess. I would give myself the same advice about Ben